A sport that is all about looking the best, being the leanest and having enough muscles in the right places does things to your brain. Both good and bad things.

The popularity around bikini fitness (and just having a lean body in general) have increased dramatically the last few years. Personally I think this is a good thing, as it makes both men and women look after themselves and living a better lifestyle. I believe more and more are aware of their eating habits today then what they were before. Which is good. But there is so many who do not educate themselves enough, or get coached by personal trainers or coaches who are very uneducated and ruin their bodies and their wellbeing. If you ever hire a trainer or nutritionist who tells you to do any crazy diets or anything you think its unhealthy. Sack em’.

When I started prepping on my first bikini fitness journey in 2014, I was lucky enough to have an experienced and very educated trainer who didn’t make me go through a low-calorie diet and putting me and my body at risk. Well of course my diet was very strict. But prepping diets usually are, no surprise there. At that time I didn’t have a clue about health or nutrition. I remember I did a lot of research on different ways on how to get muscles quicker, how to lose weight faster. I constantly approached my coach with all these new findings, but he always said stick to what I’ve told you.

Not only did I search for diets, but I looked up other bikini girls on Instagram and compared myself to them. BAD MOVE. I got obsessed, I felt FAT. And let me tell you I’ve never been so skinny in my life before. On my competition day I was around 56-57 kg! And I’m 178 cm tall(5’10). But I didn’t have enough muscles on me at the time, and to even show some definition I had to be very lean. But I was skinny…

My second bikini prep I had added much more muscles to my body, my diet was even more relaxed than my previous one. But I still compared myself to anyone I saw on Instagram. I looked up at girls who were going to be in the same category as me and again I felt FAT. I felt like my body wasnt good enough. If I could even get a pinch of fat dragged out, I was too fat for bikini fitness. In my head I should only be able to pull skin. 2 weeks prior to the competition I was stressing out. I was afraid I wouldn’t be ready, as I felt I had too much fat on my body. People around me started worry as they thought I was too skinny. Well let me just add that most friends and family tend to get a bit worried closer to the competition date as you do have a very low body fat than you did 3 months ago, it is a very dramatic change in a short time. 11358683_10155650085545529_1513058599_n


I’ve never been so nervous. You are going to stand in a tiny little bikini showing off your body to over 1000 people. I knew if I had too much body fat on me, people would judge. This feeling is not a good one, and you have to be mentally strong and prepared before even starting on a diet and training regime.

Even though my worries nearly got the best of me I got ready and I got 2nd place. One of my greatest achievements.

Bikini fitness do a lot to your head. The fact that I actually called myself fat, when I was at my skinniest, is very, very sad. You can get obsessed with “clean eating” as you just want to stay as lean as when you were on stage (which is pretty much impossible and not healthy). You just love that feeling of not having any fat hanging out of your trousers and going shopping is amazing as sometimes even XS is too big for you. And sad to say, but this was actually an amazing feeling..


BUT, I don’t think if I never went through those experiences I wouldn’t be as happyย  with my body that I am today. Yes I do like to stay lean and show a six-pack and definition (just personal preference I guess). But now, if I can grab a handful or two of fat off my stomach, I couldn’t care less. I’m now in peace with my body. I found a balance.

You might say that it is absurd to have to go through 2 bikini competitions to be happy with your body. I totally agree, however everyone finds their own way on how to finally love every single part of their body.

I think bodybuilding competitions are a fantastic sport. If its done correctly. You learn so much about yourself and your body. It does have way too much negative stuff surrounding it. But if you have the right people around you who can keep you sane, support you, give you the right dieting and training advice, you will step off that stage with the best feeling in the world. (*note my first competition I cried when I came off stage, as I was not happy with my preformance) But as everything else, the more you do it, the better you will be at it.

Those few minutes on stage were one of the best minutes of my life.



If you didn’t know, I was born and raised in Norway. I often thought Id blog in Norwegian, but since I moved away from Norway at age 19, my social circle have become more english speaking, and I live in an english speaking country. So it just feels more natural to blog in English.

However, even though I’m not living in the country anymore, I still follow-up on news and social media.

A few days ago a Norwegian blogger commented that she thinks Bikini fitness should be banned in Norway. Her argument was that so many girls destroy themselves doing the sport. And she is absolutely right. No doubt in that. But ban a sport? Maybe not.

Myself have competed twice. And it was without a doubt the best experience of my life.
Theres much attention to the fitness world that it is an extreme world. An unhealthy community. It certainly is if you look at the people taking drugs, to speed up the process, to get bigger. Or girls(and men) going through extreme diets to get in the shape they want. This is not healthy. This is fucking stupid.

Once a guy told me he had to take steroids to win. I asked him why. And he said “you can’t be a pro without gear”.

What a lot of bullocks. If you think you need to do harm to your body to become the best, you’re an idiot.

Yes there’s a lot of competitors who win, because they’ve taken steroids and they obviously have “better?” bigger shape. But there are also a lot who don’t take steroids and win. Genetics people. And I bet they have it better mentally and actually feeling healthy then the people who do take drugs.
Drugs and extreme diets is not good for you mind, body or soul. I think you are utterly stupid if you do anything that is not good to your body. But hey, 90 % of us do this every week! Youre going for a night out with your pals every week, maybe have 6-7-8+ drinks. That’s hurting your body! Just sayin..

The fitness world is not for everyone, and some people just have to accept that. But everyone can certainly be in the health community! We are forgetting how much positivity has come out from it. If I didn’t find my way to instagram, and all these women with the most amazing bodies and powerful minds, in my eyes. I would probably still be sipping on cocktails 4 times a week and not pay attention to the health of my body. The new fitness trend have made people change their lives. And that is what we should focus on.

It is a learning progress, like most things. You fail and you achieve. You learn and become smarter. If you are ever considering going on the competing journey, know one thing. You don’t have to torture yourself through it, it is meant to be fun(well I think so). Its meant to be a personal achievement and a learning process. But of course, it is hard. But its only for a fraction of you life and you will come out much stronger.


I still had krispy kreme and chocolate up to 1 week before my last competition, and I got 2nd place. Would I have won if I just stuck to “clean eating”(hate that phrase) I doubt it. I wouldn’t have a sane mind and my health would probably be bad. But let me say the bodybuilding sport is not ideal for your health. I wouldn’t say it is healthy to compete. But it’s not healthy to drink every weekend and it’s not healthy to not go to gym. So what the fuck is healthy eh? …. If you’re happy, you feel great, you sleep great, your bowel movements are great, if you simply are just loving life. Then you’re healthy.

If you are on a competition prep and you feel weak, menstruation disappears, hair loss, whatever symptoms. You are doing something WRONG. Stay away from people who says you have to go to the extremes to make it or take drugs. Make up your own mind of what you think is right and believe in yourself.

Dont be stupid, learn to know your body and ALWAYS put your health FIRST.



A subject that I have touched on in a few blog posts is obesity. I think we all know that this is a massive problem today.
However, what I do see in the Health & (especially)Fitness industry is fat shaming. Right, some people actually needs to hear a few(a lot?) though words to actually get their ass into gear and do something about their body weight(if you chose to eat whatever you like and not caring for your body – its your fault). BUT, there is a lot of people who is overweight or obese due to biological factors. And it’s not really all about willpower anymore. Continue reading “STOP THE FAT SHAMING”


One day. As I’ve mentioned earlier, this is something my bank account don’t agree with right now. But I want to write about it as I think it is important. Continue reading “IM GETTING A BOOB JOB”


It took me just over 24 years before I could say I actually LOVE what looks back to me in the mirror. Today I can say I feel pretty damn sexy naked. Today I can go clothes shopping without worrying about not fitting the size I want to fit. Today I can step on the scale and don’t care if it has gone up or down. Today I can look at beautiful models in the magazines and NOT wishing their body was my because today I love my body and I’m proud of my body.

Continue reading “I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS FAT”